Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Good health! Whenever you go out of doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every hand-clasp.
Do not fear being misunderstood; and never waste a moment thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your own mind what you would like to do, and then without violence of direction you will move straight to the goal.
Fear is the rock on which we split, and hate the shoal on which many a barque is stranded. When we become fearful, the judgment is as unreliable as the compass of a ship whose hold is full of iron ore; when we hate, we have unshipped the rudder; and if ever we stop to meditate on what the gossips say, we have allowed a hawser to foul the screw.
Keep your mind on the great and splendid thing you would like to do; and then, as the days go gliding by, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire, just as the coral insect takes from the running tide the elements that it needs. Picture in your mind the able, earnest, useful person you desire to be, and the thought that you hold is hourly transforming you into that particular individual you so admire.
Thought is supreme, and to think is often better than to do.
Preserve a right mental attitude the attitude of courage, frankness and good cheer.
Monday, September 28, 2009
You can follow Jacobsen's methods of handling and managing stress, and relax your muscles, right from the comfort of your home. Jacobsen's technique is basically a 2-step process, and involves relaxing and tensing various muscles. With continued practice, you will understand which muscles are directly linked to relaxation, and which have a close connection to stress and anxiety. You will also come to know which muscles you need to relax to overcome stress.
Deep breathing is an exercise that can be used simultaneously with the Jacobsen's techniques of relaxation. The primary concern of Jacobsen's relaxation technique is to tense and then relax the muscles at a point of time. Deep breathing can be performed while you inhale while the contraction of your muscles take place, and exhale while they are being relaxed.
You should take care that your clothing is comfortable and you should remove your footwear for better relaxation. Relax yourself, and take deep breaths. Try to think of ... absolutely nothing! Once this is done, you can commence Jacobsen's relaxation technique.
It is generally recommended to begin from the feet and move upwards. Start with right foot, then proceed to the left, and then to the calves, thighs and so on. Tensing and relaxing each muscle in turn. To gain the most out of this exercise, as you tense those muscles, also inhale steadily for about 10 seconds; and then slowly start exhaling as those muscles are relaxed. Continue doing this until they feel loosened up.
This process should be repeated on each muscle working your way right up the body to scalp; working with the muscles in your feet, calves, thighs, buttocks, stomach, lower back, biceps, triceps, hands, neck and face, i.e., from the bottom to the top.
Meditation - this simple ancient practice provides stress relief for many folks today. You don't have to be of any particular religion or be religious at all to do it. Just spend about 15 minutes a day in a quiet place to sit down, close your eyes, calm your mind, and focus on your breathing. You will feel refreshed and more relaxed afterwards.
Try using this technique every day for just one week and you will already begin to feel better. Make it a part of your life and you will manage stress quite naturally.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Whenever someone used to say that Hrithik had a stammer, I used to think that may be he must have stuttered till the age of 5 or 6 and then with the help of some speech therapy, got over that...but this is not the case. What I learned in the program was completely different. Here is a man who is a Bollywood superstar, super busy and still works for one hour on his speech daily. When the host asked him, for how long did he had this problem, he said since age 6 to till date, which was really surprising to everybody. But he has accepted for what he is and has not stopped at that but has worked hard to achieve whatever he wanted to be in his life. He said he had no option, either he wanted to become an actor or die trying becoming one.
When the host asks him to share one of the embarrassing moments due to his stammer..he shares only one, but then continues with really amazing fact that he always wanted to become an actor; Whenever someone asked him what he wanted to become, he used to say a-a-ac-tor! So how can someone who can't say the word 'actor' did become an actor! The turning point in his life came when once while walking on beach, he saw a group of youngsters doing somersaults and he too wanted to learn it. He tried and tried and finally managed to do it after a lot of practice and struggle,and this thought struck him : Why can't he do the same with his speech!
Other than that he had all the experiences which any person who stammers has gone through..like not being able to order food in a restaurant on his first date. Once he was not confident enough to say the word 'Dubai' on stage while receiving the award for the movie-'Kaho na payar hai' and had to practice it for some time and as he said, finally took the "leap". Just compare his motivation level to any of us and ask yourself: are we ready to work so hard..Are we ready to let go of our lame excuses like shortage of time, family reasons etc.
I know I may be sounding too harsh or strict or preacher-like but thats what these are. How can one reach office or an examination center or to a cinema theatre on time even during rains but cancel their plans to go to self help group meetings to practice their speech goals due to the same? Just be true to yourself and ask what do you want out of life and go ahead and live your life the way you want. All the best!
Hrithik said that he started it right from the scratch like A,B,C,D..........so on. Then he used to practice all the sounds of every letter or alphabet. for eg : all the sounds of the letter A.(aaaaaaa,aaeeeeee,aiiiiiiii etc). After that he used to combine the letters and practice them. Like, if we stammer on the words P or B or T etc. then practice it like paaaaaaa,peeeeeee,poooooo,puuuuuu for P and similarly for rest of them also.
If someone missed that show, you can watch it on youtube. Here are the links :-
This post is written by "Jai Prakash Sunda".He is also a recovering stammerer and Co-ordinator of Pune SHG.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
This time also, it was only me and Aditya(the other pws in the SHG).At first we sat down and shared our experiences of the last week.we talked for about an hour. Then we started doing our tasks.
As there were only 2 members in the group and we wanted to have a photograph together.So we were in need of a third person who could take our photograph.So our first task was to request someone to take a photograph of both of us.This task was given to Aditya but the condition was that while speaking one has to use the Bouncing technique.We saw three gentleman standing at some distance and smoking. Aditya was ready to do some voluntary stammering by doing some Bouncing while requesting them.He prepared himself and we went to them.But at the last moment I dont know what happened to him and he forgot all of the bouncing technique. He just spoke normally to them. I think this was his first time , so he might be having that feeling of shame and embarassment in him. And here is the photograph :-
Then we saw few boys coming towards us . Once again Aditya was made to go to them and request them to take a photograph of both of us. He again prepared himself and once again he forgot his voluntary stammering and spoke normally. But I jumped in and carried on with my Bouncing technique and did voluntary stammering while asking them a few more things in front of Aditya so that he gets familiar to it.And yes , one of the boy in that group started laughing and mocking on my way of speaking. But nothing bad happened . We also started laughing and we told them about our stammering. But still he was laughing at us and was hiding his face from us . Once again we said that "We people also laugh sometimes on the way we speak and you are also free to laugh my frnd".At last that fellow said sorry to us but then I started laughing and told him to keep on laughing and there is no need to say sorry.After this we felt that there was no feeling of shame and embarassment in us. And that was the objective of this meeting.
After this we saw a french couple with their 2 very sweet kids. I didn't paid much attention towards them and went passed them . But when I turned back, Aditya was shaking hands with them.So atlast he was having that courage in him to talk to strangers, thatz good. I also went to them. The Guys name was David and they came back from srinagar just 2 days ago.They were here on a tour. That french guy was not knowing english and called his wife to interact with us. We told them about our stuttering and our purpose of coming here. We also solved some of their problems bcoz they were not able to find someone who can speak English. Although the french accent of that lady was very difficult to understand but some how we managed to interpret what she was saying and solved their problems.
At last we came out of that place. I gave one more task to Aditya. He was made to go to a shop and buy anything but he had to use that Bouncing technique . Finally ,this time he used the Bouncing technique and stammered voluntarily.
We had a lot of fun in this meeting and we also learned how to tackle with different reactions of listeners towards our stammering.
Monday, September 21, 2009
1) Deep Breathing (through Diaphragm)-- Inhale from your nose and exhale from your mouth. But slowly .
2) Voice modulation ( aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa for 6 seconds eeeeeeeeeeeeee ... oooooooooooooo ....... uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu all at a higher pich .. than a bit lower and than only breathing and again slowly slowly go higher )
3) Vocal exercise ( Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapple .... Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelephant .... strech the staring sound of every word for 6 seconds and than without stopping speak out the remaining part of the word softly )
4) letters on which you stammer most
Ka, ba, ma, pa, sa,Ta
5) Counting exercise
Say 1, 2, 3, 4, 5(1-5) in a breath (remember prolong 1st letter i.e v of one).you have to do counting upto 100 (1-5, 6-10….21-24, 25-28…96-100)
6) Slow reading practice ( Mmmmmmy naaaaaame iiiiiiiiiis Maaaanpreeeeeeet / iiiii aaaaam frooooooooom jaaamuuuuuu )
You can Practice each exercise for about 15 mins a day.
Important Techniques :--
Bouncing :- When ever we pws are stuck on a particular word, we always force the 1st sound of that word out of our vocal chords by breathing improperly from our chest or sometimes we even stop our breath and force the first sound of the word to get out of our mouth.This increases the air pressure in our lungs and we start getting out of breathe.So instead of doing all this ,we can stop just before the word which is difficult to speak and bounce(repeat the 1st sound) very comfortably,easily and without any stress. And when we feel that now the rest of the word is also coming out , just stop bouncing and speak that word starting again from the 1st sound.for example:- I always get stuck on the word starting from P. So if I have to say "My name is Pawan". Dont struggle and dont stop breathing in order to speak "Pawan". Just repeat the first sound very softly like My name is P - P - P - P -P-a-a-wan.Now here the repetetion of the word is not like as we always do . Just speak it softly .
Diaphragm breathing :- This is the most important one.Untill n unless you dont allow the air to pass through ur Vocal cords, you cant speak.We use this technique bcoz most of the adults have developed a bad habit of breathing from our chest.I found that all the babies breathe properly from theri Diaphragm or abdomen. So when ever we stammer or get stuck, we always start to breathe from our chest or sometimes we even forget to breathe. So just try to breath from ur diaphragm.
Prolongation :- Prolongation is a technique that is suggested in most of the speech therapies. In this we have to strech the first sound rather than Bouncing on it. Now in case of "Pawan" ,we can say it as Paaaaaaaaaaawan. Actually we have to strech the first sound but when we say "Pawan", there is always the P sound followed by aaaaaaa.
Light contact :- Also we people often get blocked on P sound bcoz our lips are not opening up or seprating out. So there must be a light contact of ur lips when we are dealing with sounds like P,B etc.And if you apply this light contact method then you will observe that After the 1st sound of P there will be the sound of "hhh" rather than "aaaaa" in Pawan.
Easy on set :- In this we have to strech every vowel sound that appears in a word. for eg : Paaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaan, Iiiiiiiiiiindiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaa.
Cancellation :- This is used if in case we forgot to apply our techniques on a difficult or feared word.And we are stuck on that feared word.In this we have to stop in between our block on this word , take a deep breath and then start again speaking out that word but this time we will use our techniques and speak out that particular word with ease and light contact etc.for eg :- my name is Pa-a-a- . stop here. Take a deep breath. Then start with the technique with which you are comfortable. Like I am comfortable with light contact in case of P . so I wud say Phhhwan. You need not to repeat the complete sentence again. Just repeat the word on which you get stuck .
All these techniques should be practiced in the company of other human beings for best results. In other words SHG is the best place - instead of doing it alone.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Both were stammerers in their youth. Both were taunted for it with cutting nicknames–”dash” for Biden, since he left his words hanging with a dash; batalus for Demosthenes, which meant both asshole and stammerer.
But both defined themselves by overcoming this impediment, and thus turning their greatest weakness–speaking–into their greatest strength–oratory. Demosthenes went on to become the single greatest orator not only in Greece but in all of history. Statesmen from Cicero to Disraeli and Churchill looked to him for lessons in how to move a political audience with speech. Joe Biden, too, became an effective–and, if anything, a garrulous–senator and is now the vice president of US.
As always, it is how they overcame that is the story. Joe Biden’s story is all over the news. But you may not know Demosthenes’ story. Here is the brief version, as Plutarch tells it:
Once, after Demosthenes was once again laughed out of the forum of Athens for his slobbering, panting attempts at speech, he was walking in dejection around the port. An actor followed him and caught up. He asked Demosthenes to recite passages from Euripides and Sophocles. Demosthenes recited them. As soon as he stopped, the actor would deliver the same passage, but with full force and feeling, with gesture and emotion.
Demosthenes was so inspired that he built himself a sort of cave underground where he hid for months at a time, just practicing his speech. He shaved one half of his head, then the other, so that he would be too ashamed to come out. With laser-like focus, he stayed in that dungeon and worked on his tongue, his vocal cords, his gestures, his cadence, his logic.
Eventually he came out of his cave and set his hurdles higher. He recited speeches while running up hills. He went to the shore and orated against and over the breaking waves. When even that became easy, he put pebbles under his tongue and then enunciated over the roaring surf. Here he is, as the painter Jean Lecomte du Nouÿ imagined him:
In time, he became the greatest orator, and then the greatest statesman, of his country and time, Athens in the fourth century BCE. It would be Demosthenes who roused the Athenians against the menace of Philip of Macedon, the father of Alexander the Great.
Were the early failures, setbacks and shortcomings of Joe Biden and Demosthenes impostors, in Kipling’s sense? Stammering, for Biden or Demosthenes, was not a liberating event, as failure was for Steve Jobs, J.K. Rowling, or Hannibal’s nemesis, the great Scipio. Their stammer was more like a gauntlet that life threw before their soul. Success in life can be about picking such gauntlets up and then going deep, way deep, to find the strength.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
If anyone has not seen this yet…WATCH IT NOW. This is a good 5-6 minute on ABC about stuttering featuring Dr. Phil Schneider and one of his past students, Michael.
This is one of those segments of stuttering that does not focus on the miracle cures but a different way of approaching it.
Here is the clip :-
I came to know about this from www.thestutteringblog.com
After that we had a 'story telling' session. We have already planned all this a day before(on 8th sep) when Aditya(the other pws in the SHG) came to my place to get all the movies and videos related to stammering.We discussed some important things while watching some of the videos and we also decided that we will have a 'story telling' session in our meeting tomorrow(on 9th sep), where both of us have to tell a story to eachother.So from quite a few time I was preparing for a story of a movie called "If only". It was a very nice movie and after watching that movie I always used to say to myself that "how would I narrate this story to anyone if I ever got a chance to speak fluent....??". So I was having this story always in my mind and I was very excited about our 2nd meeting where I would finally get a chance to tell this story to someone, no matter if I even stammer.
After disussing about the Block corrections , we started our story telling session. We were suppose to speak slowly,with proper breathing,bouncing,prolongation etc. No matter how much time it takes us to complete the story, just be relaxed and speak slowly.So I started first and I think that I took about 20 mins in telling the story. Even though a normal person would have taken 10 mins in narrating this story but I was very happy with ma timing.Then Aditya started with his story of the movie "17 Again".He took 15 mins.But He was trying to speak at a slow rate of speech and thatz good.
Aditya says : " My 2nd meeting is slightly more intresting from first one.what matters is that you must use all the techniques in telling stories .On that day, I talked with manpreet for more than 15 minutes continuously . Next time I am not going to bother about time I take in telling story , but about the way I speak( using all techniques )".
Now in our 3rd meeting I m trying to invite some more pws and we'll try to do some tasks like asking the shopkeeper using bouncing or prolongation.I learned all this at Samagra and now I want each and every pws to try these techniques and tasks in real life situations.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
For the first 4 kms,both of us(me and my friend) were full of energy and excitement and didn't stop even at one single resting place . But after that, we were tired of walking continuously for 4 kms and it took us about an hour to cover this much distance. It is not that much easy as it looks . we have to go up the hill, so the roads are not perfectly horizontal. As we didn't had our dinner and the time was 9:30 pm ,we were really hungry and with no more energy. So we decided to have our dinner after 11 pm and to buy some chips for the time being.
Then we just kept on walking slowly and steadily. At 11 pm we went to a restaurant and had our dinner. The Bhawan was still 4 kms away from that place. So after having our dinner, we were full of energy once again and covered that distance of 4 kms with in next 1.5 hours. So at around 1 am, we were finally at Mata's Bhawan.There was a huge line of people who were waiting for Mata's darshan. So we also went in and had to wait for about 1 hour, standing in that line. Finally we were at the Mata's holy cave and I prayed for my stammer and also my future.
At 1:35 am we were done with the Darshan and started going back to Katra the same way we came. Now, when coming back downwards for 5 kms from the Bhawan, I asked my friend to sit and take rest some where . So we saw some vacant chairs in front of us and we sat there for about 25 mins. Here I started asking my friend if he had seen an english movie called "The Exorcism of Emily Rose" . He said "No ,I havent seen this one".
I told him that it is a nice movie based on a true story and he must watch this movie. Then I kept silent for sometime. Now during this scilence, I was thinking that whether I should tell him the story of the movie. But at the same time one more thought was coming into my mind and that was, as usual of stammer. I wanted to tell him the story but once again I was getting double minded due to my stammer. I thought that if I started to tell him the story ,whether I will be able to speak without stammer or not. Now this was also one of my fears to talk to a non-stammerer about the thing that I did in my past: Because I can speak fluently when I say the things that we speak normally at home or with friends and family. But when it comes to talk about something that has happened in the past, then I was having no second option but to just stop saying what I was trying to say.But this time I was knowing that it is the right situation to face my fears and time to test my speech techniques . So I chose to tell him the story. I started very gently and told him about Emily Rose and what was the main concept in this movie. Though I didnt use bouncing ,but I did use Prolongation, pausing and most of all deep breathing.Honestly speaking, Deep breathing was the important thing that was keeping my speech fluent.
After telling him this much, we stared walking again but there was still some part of the movie in my mind that I wanted to tell him. So once again I started speaking out and told him all the things that I wanted to say, but using a slow rate of speech and ofcourse Deep Breathing. And I was very fluent while telling him the story. Although he was observing and must be asking to himself that "Why is he Doing this Deep breathing again and again..?" , but I was not worried about what he thinks about me . I was just using my techniques and practicing those techniques in a real life situation. Thatz it .
At that time I felt that now I am able to deal with my Emotions and Fears. So instead of running away from it , we must go ahead and try to face it .
On the way back to home, he asked me "why did you went to Dehradun(samagra ashram)...??".
And I told him the truth about my stammering and about my speech therapy at Dehradun. But still he was not clear what I was talking about.
And after facing your fears you will feel that you have really eliminated or erased this fear from your mind.We reached the Bus stand at the base (Katra) at 5 am in the morning.And from there we took the bus to Jammu. And we were home at 7 am. And as we were very tired, we just removed our shoes and went to sleep .
Monday, September 14, 2009
I met him after I came back from Dehradun.I went to Dehradun for a 7 days intensive therapy programme at Samagra ashram.I was there from 16th of Aug to 23rd of Aug,2009.There I came to know, that it is very important to have a SHG(Self Help Group) in your own city bcoz stammering can't be cured in Isolation. So I started looking for some PWS in jammu .I searched on internet,social networking sites like Orkut,Facebook etc. Finally I was able to find 3-4 pws on orkut who were from jammu. And i sent them messages and scraps.But 2 of them replied to those messages and only one of them was really curious to do something in order to cure his stammer.His name is Aditya. He Has just completed his Engineering in IT this year.
We had a meeting on 2nd september,2009.This was our 1st meeting, so it was ma duty to Motivate the other person in the same way as I was motivated by Sachin sir and JP at Dehradun. I told him each and everything whatever I learnt at Dehradun.I told him about "Acceptance", to love ur stammer and dont be ashamed of ur stammer.I also explained him some of the techniques such as Bouncing,Prolongation,Easy on set,Slow rate of speech etc. Our 1st meeting lasted for about an hour.Then on our way back to home ,I told him that I have got some very good and interesting Documentary movies on stammering that I got from Dehradun. So if he wants those movies and videos ,I can bring those DVDs in our next meeting. This was just the starting of our 2 member SHG in jammu. I am hoping more PWS in jammu to join this group and help each other .
Sunday, September 13, 2009
So today Dr. Sachin took us to a Hospital today and we were made to come out of our comfort zone and face our night mares. At first ,we were made to talk to some patients or their relatives who were sitting in the waiting room. I was really scared at that moment. we were suppose to talk to them and ask them about their purpose of coming here and to also tell them that we are working on our speech.we talked to 6 to 7 people out of them 4 were ladies. I always hesitated to talk to any lady, so I was very much nervous at that time too. But after talking to them I felt that there is nothing like a night mare or what ever you call it. They were really understanding our problem and were very cooperative also.
The next task was to go and talk to the Supritendent of that hospital. When we went into the office ,I saw that the Supritendent is also a Lady.We talked to her and told her about ourselves and what ever techniques we learnt here. She was very happy and also said that the techniques that you pws are using must be used by every person bcoz it sounds so Cool and stylish. Then the 3rd task was to go to different windows at the hospital and just ask them something using Bouncing technique. And I think this was the best part of the day . We were enjoying bouncing and asking questions . So overall it was a gud experience .
Thanks to Dr. Sachin for making us to do these things and helping us in overcoming our fears.
At that time I realized that I was different from them.I can't just keep on saying anything ,bcoz it was difficult for me even to speak my name.So when the teacher used to ask me question during VIVAS, I was always knowing the answer to that question but I was not able to move my lips. So the teacher thought that Manpreet is not knowing the answer and She used to pass that question to the next person. I was just like a dumb statue there.Because I was afraid that if I gave the answer and I stammer, then all my frnds sitting beside me will make fun of me due to my stammer and I will feel bad about it. I thought that it was better to keep my mouth shut. Here I was doing the wrong thing.
I was hiding my stammer from all of them .And bcoz of this mentality, I always avoided to speak and stop attending even my family parties.
So Acceptance means that we have to Accept our stammer and in others words feel gud about our stammer and have a positive attitude towards it. The outcome of this is that our speech becomes effortless and quite smooth and There is no struggle in our mind and no two thoughts that shall I speak or not.
There are also some techniques like proper Diaphragm breathing ,Bouncing,Prolonging. You can use these techniques voluntarily in front of people and if they in turn laugh and ask you that "Do you stammer", just laugh or give a gentle smile and say "Yes mam/sir I do stammer and do you know anything about stammering ? How it occurs ? etc." . Ask them about stammering and if they dont know, just tell them what actually stammering is ?
Also dont let ur emotions to take control of you. just move one step ahead of your Emotions.bcoz there is no place for emotions in this world.All the world cares about is your success or your failure. so it is totally upon you whether you want to succeed in ur life or you want to lay back and cry on ur faliures. This was what I learned at SAMAGRA. Overall it was a gud experience . And I am already on my way to change Myself.
Stammering is 80% psychological and 20 % physical. So the 80% psycological cure is for sure and the remaining 20 % depends upon ur speech muscles and how we can control them occasionally.
This 20% physical cure can come by practicing the techniques like Bouncing,Prolongation,Easy onset,Cancellation or whatever u ve learnt. But just believe in what u do. The most important factor in this physical condition is "Slow rate of speech". If u try to control you speech and speak slowly ,then out of this 20%, u have cured 15%.
The 80% psychological cure can come by "Accepting" that u stammer.Remember "Acceptance" is the only way with which u can cure ur 80% stammer.It means that we need not to hide our stutter.Just go out and talk about our stutter to anybody openly.Stammering or stuttering is not a crime . So what are we hiding it from. It is something given to us by GOD, so why to hide it.All these points again point towards Acceptance. So that is the key.
Bcoz when u Accept that you stammer and are not ashamed of it, the internal struggle that always keeps on emerging in our mind is eliminated and now u have no fear to speak out something even in the difficult situations.Believe me ...I have tried this thing and with in 1 month I am observing something gud in ma speech and that is fluency.
So the choice is urs........ all of you can do this and just try to put all these techniques in ur day to day life. Even if u stutter at the initial stage , you shouldn,t be ashamed of it. Just try to control ur emotions and walk one step ahead of ur emotions.
A perfect example of controlling ur Emotions is :----
It is often observed in stammerers that if today they were able to speak fluently with some person in a difficult situation, they will feel very gud and will be happy on that particular day.And if, on the next day they stammer a lot even in an easy situation ,they will feel very bad and think that why GOD gave this problem to me and there whole day goes very depressing and unhappy.Now here ur Emotions are controlling you. But you also know that this stammer is not ur fault.It occurs at odd times when no one is expecting it. So to control ur stammer, u need to control ur Emotions first.And just act normally when any of these situations occurs and try to tell urself "that atleast u spoke and completed ur sentence". Bcoz a non-stammerer can never be so courageous and dedicated as far as our speech is concerned.
So just cheer up and say it to urself that "if so many of the stammerers are able to gain flueny , why can't I.....???"
You can and you always will..........just try this........